Yesterday I went for a routine doctor’s visit. The nurse wore bright pink scrubs. Cheerful pink. She directed me to the scale. I put my purse and coat on a hook.
I said, “I could take my boots off.”
She said, “Naa, I’ll just take off a pound off your weight.”
“I’ll take off my shirt and pants,” I said, going for a laugh.
No response, just a look. Bored? Uninspired? I couldn’t quite assess the look.
So, I said, “I was joking.”
No response.
I think I’ve mentioned before that I like to make people laugh. At least a smile. It’s my job. The pay sucks, by the way.
When I saw the Doc, she did laugh about something I said, so the day wasn’t a complete failure. The colonoscopy and endoscopy are scheduled for May. Both ends of me on the same visit. As Biden would say, “No Joke.”
I wrangled to get out of the butt check using my elder creds with the Doc. But no deal. She said, “Don’t worry, It’ll probably be the last one you’ll need.”
Okay, so was she suggesting that I’ll croak before five years. They enjoy looking up “there” every five years? Or maybe you just don’t need it done after a CERTAIN age? Hmm.
Then driving home, it hit me…a conclusion (not a truck). That nurse who weighed me, she saw my wrinkled face, she knew I was old, and she probably figured I was a bit demented. She didn’t laugh. I bet she was tolerating an old lady. Or maybe she was terrified that I was actually going to strip right there. Then she’d have to see the awesome power gravity has on a person's body. Damn.
And this—Am I wanting to have it both ways? Use my old age to avoid stuff (which didn’t work), but at the same time not wanting anyone to see me as old?
Okay, so now I’m going to weigh my boots.
Maybe I should use the kitchen scale?
Age happens…
ReplyDeleteseriously?
DeleteSeriously, Skip. When did you find out?
DeleteI do a similar thing taking off shoes, belt, cell phone, keys, jacket and I try to make a joke of it usually to no response but the same nurse once I am in the exam room is far more responsive
ReplyDeleteHey, Bob, you should write a blog!
DeleteI certainly can relate! Thanks, Lynn!
ReplyDeleteWell, so how much did your boots weigh??? You know, I’m going for the interpretation that her cat died and she was having a rough day. Oh, I forgot, it’s supposed to be all about you! Love ya, Lynn!!
ReplyDeleteI think some younger people can’t imagine that older people like to kid around. Like you I chat everybody up and when they don’t have fun with it I’m thinking “hey work with me here-life’s too short & our country’s a mess! Can’t we just have this fun minute?”
ReplyDelete